I Didn't Know Elton John Hated Himself!

Updated: Sep 11, 2020

The movie, "Rocketman" is the story of a musical genius who could listen to any tune and copy it on the piano. But behind this very talented and famous artist, who gained a massive amount of success, was a very broken man ... a man who was shy, a man who was depressed, and a most of all ...

... a man who actually hated himself.

Elton, how did you get this way?

Well, the movie goes into his childhood, where he felt unloved by two emotionally abusive and unavailable parents. Only his dear grandma and his best friend gave him the love he really needed. On top of this, he was gay ... in a world that hated gay people. You put all of this together and you get a dangerous cocktail of self-loathing, drug addiction, and even a suicide attempt.

Wow, Elton John just became more human to me ...

What a miserable existence to hate yourself. I know this because I lived it. You are depressed beyond words, you feel anxious about everything, you feel that something is wrong with you, down to the core. The hate and demons that afflicted you train you to hate and afflict yourself. Then, it becomes all that you know. There's no positive voice or self-esteem. There is just a constant attack of thought daggers, stabbing you all day long.


Elton John self-medicated to numb the emotional pain that he was going through. I picked at my body and face to make myself more perfect and lovable. I even had a good old drinking problem at one point too. And then, you just suffer and suffer everyday, all day. No matter what anyone says, no matter what success you achieve or what good things come into your life, including a relationship, job, or money, you just feel down to the core, unlovable, unworthy, and unfixable.

But in the end, he made it to rehab, where I think he transformed into his new self, the self that, well, loved himself, for the first time in his life. How wonderful and freeing it is to find your own value and begin to be your own best friend. He finally was ready to find out what it's like to have a healthy relationship with himself and others. He realized that he couldn't walk another step without fixing his core problem.

I think that must be the case for everyone else too. We all have a personal Journey that we go through in this lifetime, and our main mission usually involves growing ... and more growing ... and even more growing. And there is some inexplicable joy that comes with healing yourself a little more from your emotional suffering, from finally enjoying your own company, and from transforming into your Awakened Self.


I love the message behind his story and I loved the visuals, but I didn't love the, at some points, cheesy musical "flash-mob" style scenes, and I just wanted to see more of his dark moments.

But overall, Elton, you are an inspiration to me and the movie was great, from the music, to the story line, and the emotional sentiment, and just because it was about the rock star life (drugs, sex, and rock n' roll baby).

I give Rocketman 4 out of 5 Crispy Chicken Wings.

Love yourself and stay Crispy,


*Make sure to tune into The Crispy Soul Podcast, where we go more into depth on this topic, available on all major streaming apps.


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