Right off the bat, I'll admit that Crispy is hard to describe. First, the origins of Crispy: I was in my mid-twenties, struggling along in a dead-end corporate job, depressed, and without a purpose in life, but I had amazing, grounded friends at this job. We would laugh and go out and talk about real shit. I would joke with them that I was jealous of the kind of person that could get up at 7am on a Saturday and meet their friends with decaf coffee or even worse, just water, in hand. That kind of person would walk around the lake--that's right, they exercise--at a well-coordinated social event in tight yoga pants! What the hell guys?! I was so far from being that kind of person. I hated my job, I slept through hangovers, and I had no direction in life or motivation like those "Crispy" people did. That day with my friends, the word just jumped out of my mouth, like it's fresh, free of hangovers, healthy behavior, Crispy crunchy. Oh and Crunchy is a whole other story that we'll save for another day. Btw, Urban Dictionary caught wind of my idea and added it's own definition of Crispy, but I tell myself that I am the original creator.
So I continued to point out these Crispy people in a light-hearted but snide manner, to make others laugh and at the time to excuse myself from being perfect somehow. Maybe this was the start of my self-love journey?
Examples Of Crispy
1. Getting up before work to workout!! That's even more work.
2. Helping your in-laws open their cabin for the season. Whaaa?
3. Just having 1 alcoholic beverage at a social gathering because you have an early meeting with your editor.
4. Meal prepping (unfathomable).
5. MARATHON RUNNING?! I stay awake seething at night thinking about these Super Crispies and their completely insane hobby of running of any sort, let alone 23 fucking miles!
6. Taking an improv class...with your friends (because you planned ahead).
7. Having a baby or planning someone else's baby shower (omg).
8. Backpacking through... you guessed it, EUROPE (obvious one).
9. Keeping in touch with your high school, college, work friends, AND your partner's friends.
10. Remembering people's birthdays... and also getting them a present.
Believe me the list goes on, but I want to hear from you. (Post your ideas about the concept of Crispy and tag the podcast!) As you may have noticed, my list came with a tinge of jealousy and flat out confusion. If you do any of those things, you are a fantastic person, and congratulations, you have energy. For people like me, with a brain disorder, everything is harder: planning things, making money, keeping in touch with people, and most of all getting out of bed to exercise! How in the hell... I'll never get it.
The concept of "Crispy" I am describing came from a 25 year old just doing her best, but her definition was incomplete. A new woman, now in her mid-thirties, a bit weathered from life but more introspective than ever, discovered the other side of this Crispy Concept. It's not just these behaviors listed above that count as Crispy. I now realize, that Crispy goes deeper than this.
Let's explore: How do you describe these Crispy people?
1. They look happy
2. They have energy
3. They seem to love life
4. They are in the moment
5. Maybe they have a spiritual core or believe in the Greater Universe or Mother Nature
6. They seem to be easy on themselves and don't indulge in negative thinking
7. Their brains may be working well, or they take medicine that works for them
8. They have passions and hobbies
9. They seek connection from others
10. They have faith of some sort, that good will come to them
Two words are screaming relentlessly: "BUT How!?" How are these Crispy human beings operating at such high functioning levels? What is the core of their being that fuels the outer happy existence? I am not satisfied with my own list. You and I are unpacking this together as we go. Okay, so the second list still reflects outside layers of the human being. What if we go deeper, yes, let's peel back just a couple more layers.
I have a theory.
These Crispy people are out there, loving life, enjoying each moment, moving gracefully through hardships, and love on others because...here is comes...
THEY LOVE THEMSELVES! At the very least, they think they are good enough. They are worthy. They have a place at the table of life... Good for them...
How do I know this? Because for much of my late teens, twenties, and some of my thirties, and still in the recent past... I hated myself!! I mean loathed myself at times: I hated my body and its every flaw, my brain, my age, my job. And so I lived a miserable existence of flying thought demons, spindling anxiety, and 60 lb depressions with occasional reprieves. Medication has helped my brain work so much better and has truly saved my life, but I suffered more than I had to even